Sunday, October 5, 2008

Morally Superior Hippies

So one thing I noticed quickly was the high amount of hippies here. I was kind of stoked. I see people walking around grocery stores in barefeet, smoking pot at the bus stop, and of course wonderful hippie girl fashion. I was naive enough to think the downside of hippiedom would be absent here. I was so wrong.

It's like you get money to tell people what to do, and extra if you're a dick about it. The anti-smoking commercials back home are kind of cool...but these ones are just full of sort-of-celebrities telling you you're an idiot if you smoke, and how it's just as bad as genocide to sell cigarettes in the supermarket. It's enough to make me want to get addicted to smoking, just out of spite. Unfortunately, it's like $15 for a pack, so that just doesn't work for me. And this is what's on the packs:


Also, in response to hippiedom, the government has made it illegal to import a hookah pipe because it can be used to smoke marijuana. So can plastic bottles. Fuck you, I want hookah. I went to one of three hookah bars in the country, which was an 11 hour bus ride away, and located in the redlight district of the city. That was actually fun, because I got to meet some Persian dudes and talk about the shemales that walked by. But I won't be able to have any more until I get home, and that just sucks.

Anyways, back to the point. I was watching the Steelers whip up on the Jaguars today, when I couldn't help but overhear a girl across the room talking about the difference between cage-free and free-range chickens, and how one of them was inhumane and the other wasn't. She was with some guy who was working on a project with her, and clearly he wanted none of it. But he was trapped. He even got up to go to the bathroom, and the girl yelled at him to buy her some chocolate. Bitch. During commercials I'd tune in, and she could not leave the free-range vs. cage-free issue alone. She also talked about how eating skinless chicken is morally superior to eating the chicken skin, or something. I don't know. It really didn't make sense. I was so pissed off that I ordered a beef burger, because out of chicken, beef, and fish, there's a greater chance the cow was abused. I don't even think it's possible to be inhumane to a fish, which makes no sense.

Shoutout to Michelle, the waittress who brought me my beef burger. She's made every single Steelers game I've seen a delight, 3-0 record in those games aside. A beautiful exotic mix of Pacific Islander, Indian, and probably some African ancestry, she keeps surprising me with hints of more exotic ethnicities, as well as low-cut shirts. Here's to you.


Evan said...

In your dirty, unkempt, shoeless, ralph nader voting, tyedye poncho wearing, hookah smoking face. Embrace your inner bird -- hate on hippies.

ps - Just so you know, the only butter they sell here in China is imported from, guess where, New zealand. I figured it would be an exotic, interesting butter, so I was excited to try it. Turns out it just blows. What an odd coincidence

TallE said...

stop violating the terms of service!

Bradley Mitchell said...

Right, because china is just so fucking awesome. Oh wait, no. No they aren't. They are that pathetic they rely financially on the rest of the world. Good job fuckers!